Had a really great day today. Took a while to get motivated, been ill over christmas and still not feeling 100% but getting their antibiotics kicking in now. Started out by making a swiss roll which didn,t work very well wouldn,t roll but tasted great and Piers and Lydia were very happy with it. I then decided to do some painting with the kids which they both love doing before i knew where we were we were making signs for there bedroom doors with glue and glitter, making christmas tree decorations, and painting evrything we could think of I really enjoyed myself. When Miles came home from work there was glitter everywhere and lots of pieces of artwork to be viewed.. We then had tea another recipe from jamie Olivers new book, unfortunately lydia fell asleep while I was cooking it and Miles hadn,t realised so now they are both still awake, hopefully they will sleep soon. Sleep has never been something any of my children are good at, when marcus was a toddler he could survive on 4 hours sleep unfortunatley i can,t and feel like death a lot of the time. Marcus still doesn,t sleep (very common in autistic people) and unfortunately the twins are just the same. I love them all dearly but it would be nice to have some time to sit quietly. I frequently go 36 hours without sleep because of work if i am on nights I will get up for school and stay up all day and all night then go to bed after the school run. Miles can,t understand why i am grumpy, he should try it and see if he can cope. I am fortunate though in that i have learnt to power nap and this does actually help. It has taken years of practice to perfect but am almost there i think.
I have just caught the little darlings trying to eat chocolate, will they ever sleep.
Anyway more about my life. I am the eldest daughter of 2 and after a pretty unexciting school life (never a fan of school) I enrolled on the pre nursing course. i wanted to be a nurse from the age of 7 when i had my appendix removed and pretty much stuck to that plan. I left there with 7 GCSEs but didn,t have the required grade in English to start my nursing so worked in a residential home for 2 years until i got GCSE English. I did my general nurse training at Doncaster hospital and those were some of the best years of my life. Some great girly holidays, fantastic friends, a few boyfriends and lots of drunken nights. I was engaged when i started my training to Daren but although he was agreat guy we drifted apart after a year of my training. When i qualified i moved to Nottingham to work as a theatre nurse, this was not my chosen career path and i only managed 10 months and left to start my midwifery training.Nottingham was great though, great place to live, lots of friends but would probably have been an alcoholic had i lived there much longer.
I did my midwifery training in Barnsley and this was a very lonely time for me. i was away from home, lived alone in flat and wasn,t sure if i had made the right career choice. At this time i met Michael he at first appeared charming, intelligent and it seemed we had loads in common. My family hated him and he refused to meet Nina my best friend. It was only after i was pregnant that I found out every thing about him had been a lie and he was a druggy. So i dumped him and went it alone with my baby who was marcus. He was the most beautiful baby 9lb7oz and really cute I was in love. I brought him up with the support of my parents for 4 years and then i met Miles. Unfortunately my Mum didn,t like him either and we fell out for reasons i don,t want to go into. This was a very difficult time, I had lost the support of my family, my grandmother who i was close to died and Marcus was diagnosed with Autism. The only good thing was Miles, his family, my sister and older niece and Nina and of course Marcus who although he was difficult really made life worth living.
The twins were born in 2004 and I made up with my Mum. Life was complete but demanding. Marcus found the change to his routine tough and 2 little babies were hard work. I suffered from postnatal depression but somehow managed to keep smiling and enjoyed my children.
Piers was always the most difficult of the 2 babies being lactose intolerant and suffering from severe colic. He is also undergoing assessment for autism but the doctors don,t agree he has a problem. They have made this decision after meeting him once but i am with him every day and can see he is so like Marcus and so different to Lydia. Time will tell. I know i have given a lot of personal information here but as i have said before if i can help one person this blog will have been worth it and i am basically a very open person. Will log back in tomorrow. Happy new yaer to you all.