Can,t believe how long it is since I last blogged life is so busy at the moment. I have been really busy at work i seemed to do very few shifts at the beginning of the month and am now doing them all at the end. Still only one more to go and then i am on holiday for 2 1/2 weeks. I really can,t wait to spend lots of time with the kids we are going away too. I am really tired it has been a busy half term and we are all ready for a break now. We are going to Northumberland never been before so not sure what to expect but will enjoy time with the kids and miles anyway.
I really enjoyed the day out with Lydia we spent the day looking at mini and not so mini beasts and i even held a few off them was so proud of myself as I am not a creapy crawlie kind of person at all, but i held a stick insect, giant millipede, snake I did draw the line at tarantula and cockroaches though that is too much. All the kids were really well behaved and Lydia enjoyed my being with her hopefully i can do it again soon. Today it was Piers play at school he was really good and brought a tear to my eye he had tried so hard learning his story map and song, it was their take on the easter story and all the kids wer amazing we are very lucky to have such a good school.
I have changed my hair again I didn,t like the blond and was bored again. I came out with it purple, pink and blue will post a photo but it isn,t very good as it was windy amd you can,t really see so will take another when i wash my hair, I have a feeling it will fade quickly though.
This weekend we had daddy bear to stay for the weekend a school project for Piers unfortunately I was working all weekend so we didn,t get to do much but took some good pictures at the park and swimming etc. I also had a good day out with my friend at yorkshire wildlife park, I love spending time with Nina we are on the same wavelength and have a good laugh.
I have been making a hot water bottle cover fo Piers to take to the caravan and I am very pleased with it, i am also doing one for Lydia when they are finished I will photgraph them and let you have a look. I did want to knit some chicks for easter but will probably run out of time, I will do them next year instead the wool will save. Musi go now and get uniforms ready it is Marcus last day at school tomorrow and the twins break up on Thursday. Marcus has been in trouble for running up a huge internet bill and other general teenager behaviour. Miles is shopping as we speak and i have just cooked a batch of belgian choc cookies and have eaten too many and now feel a bit sick. I am so weak.

Back again i can,t believe how quickly the time goes only seems like yesterday since my last blog and it was a while ago looking at the date. I suppose that is my life. We have had a very full weekend done lots of things at the allotment dug over afair bit now the weeds are horrendous but we will get there of course. the kids still complain about going but enjoy it when they get there for about an hour anyway then they start to run off or fight with each other and we have to leave. did 1 and half hours with them today so should be grateful i suppose. They undo a lot of what i do by trampling what i have just dug but they are happy doing it and it isn,t such a tragedy I suppose. They make lots of mud pies and play with poor unsuspecting worms. Today we took a picnic and it was lovely a bit nippy but felt more spring like today than previously hope it continues then I can get planting. After the allotment i came home and put a stew in the oven and we went to the pub where the kids had a run aroud in the outdoor playpark, they really enjoyed themselves but it was freezing and we stayed 1 hour and then came home to stew and dumplings which was delicious. Dh was ill yesterday but a bit better today, he has had abdominal pain, nausea and felt like he was coming down with flu. Hope not as we have had enough illness and bad luck recently.
We are all looking forward to our holidays over the easter hols we are going to south wales near Tenby we have been before and Miles has family near there so it is a place he spent a lot of his childhood so he is always very happy there. Marcus won,t come again he finds the caravan very difficult he likes his space and a familiar routine and it is not his idea of fun being stuck in a 5 berth caravan with 2 5 year olds not sure its DH,s either come to that LOL. Marcus will stay with his grandparents and they will take him on day trips etc.
I must get started on the homemade pinnatas that we made last year they were a great success. got the idea from the green parent and the kids loved them this year i am making them for my nieces too so need to make 5 in all. They are really simple, blow up a balloon cover in papier mache using flour glue and crepe or tissue paper when it is dry pop the balloon and fill with mini chocolate eggs and gifts. I think they enjoyed smashing them up as much as they did getting the gifts. In fact i might make myself one.
Tomorrow I am on a school trip with Lydia,s class we are only going down the road to a study centre but i am looking forward to spending time with Lydia, we will be pond dipping and mini beast hunting. they also have a small zoo with reptiles and small rodents etc, not looking forward to the tarantula but must be brave. Will try to take photos if i am allowed and post on here. Lydia,s class are a good bunch of kids and I know them all well so should be a good day.
Must go get Marcus to bed as it is 21.45 and he is supposed to go to bed at 21.30. Piers and Lydia are also still awake Piers is on his leapster (must conviscate it for the night) and Lydia is listening to my ipod through her HSM ipod pillow, at least it keeps her head on the pillow even if still awake. I also have a galss of wine waiting with my name on it and have packed lunches to make, uniforms to iron and homework diaries to fill in, the fun never ends. Also Piers has a home school diary that we fill in to keep school informed of his behaviour at home, he is actually being quite well behaved at the moment so it is a bit boring not that I am complaining he might be terrible next week. The only bad thing he has done is fighting with Lydia (OK so that is a major thing as he has hurt her at times) and he has been rude to the little girl next door who he really doesn,t like. He also badly scratched my face yesterday being a bit rough, all part of living with Piers though and nothing out of the ordinary unfortunately you get used to it. He can also be very sweet and you have to take into consideartion it is his ASD that makes him behave like this not him as such, he only behaves like this when he is very anxious or frightened, he is also very upset after he has hurt someone. Marcus is much the same but unfortunately because Marcus is so much nigger now at aged 14 others dont find it so easy to accept. It is a sad fact that as ASD children grow there behaviour becomes more bizarre and harder for people to cope with. Still there problem not the boys all we can do is continue to raise awareness. Will post again soon.

Quick post before i go to the allotment. Have abusy day today I am nights tonight, want to go to the allotment really enjoying it and have dug over about half now. DH has almost mearly finished one of the raised beds and it looks great. I also did loads of irioning last night so need to put that away. Heve just hung another load on the line as it is a gorgeous day here, ,maybe spring is finally on the way although it was frosty this morning. I would also like to get a nap before i go to work so need to shift my backside.
The kids are all over their various illnesses, Marcus and Lydia have had a vomiting bug and Piers has had an ear infection. He finishes his antibiotics today thank god as they are making him even more hyperactive than usual. Yesterday he was very distressed most of the day, his jumper was bothering him in the morning, cuffs didn,t feel right apparently, and he couldn,t wear his coat because of this but was cold without it, he just stood and screamed in the street saying he wasn,t going to school. Lydia got fed up and walked herself to school so I had to tell her off as at 5 she is not really old enough to be doing this, although in her favour she did very well and crossed roads very nicely and using green cross code. She was then in a strop and refused to walk the rest of the way. When I picked them up we went to the dentist Piers had a tantrum becuse i wouldn,t buy chewing gum and did a runner. Everyones teeth are fine though I don,t know how becuase i have to fight , cajole and reward to get any of them to even show their teeth a toothbrush, they don,t like the taste they don,t like the sensation, I have lost count of the amount of toothbrushes and toothpastes i have purchased with no success. Piers was then demanding a DVD but didn,t know what to watch this took him nearly 20 minutes to decide and in the end i just put on C beebies. He was then in a strop because tea was late and he was starving. When it was finally ready, homemade turkey burgers, chips and fine beans, (DH and I had salad) he hardly ate any of it and then said he was starving later. So a challenging evening with Mr Piers.
Lydia is also being a stroppy madame at the moment, she has decided she hates school and prefers to be at home with me, she is being as awkward and naughty as she possibly can and it is taking lots of patience to stop myself losing it with her. She has recently started palying with the little girl next door who is very sneaky and is teaching Lydia to be sneaky too, for example they came in the other day asking for sweets, i said no as dinner was almost ready, I then heard the little girl say to Lydia just take them she won,t know. My children have never taken without asking and i won,t have them start now, later i found said little girl looking through my fridge. She is also mean with Lydia forces her to do things she doesn,t want to do and only plays with her when she wants to. We have tried explaining to Lydia this is not the way to behave but she doesn,t understand and says this girl is her friend and she likes her. I hope she sees sense soon. I hate the way i feel towrds this little girl as i love all kids but she is very controlling and I jsut can,t trust her I am also aware she is saying things to Lydia and inflenecing her behaviour. I really like my neighbours and dodn,t want to fall out with her my mum says i can,t chose Lydia,s friends but she is only 5 and I a, not having her being naughty because of another child. Lydia said last night that she thought i was horrible mummy this upset me even though I know she is wrong, later on she said to me I am sorry Mummy that daddy doesn,t like you anymore, where is she getting this from she is only 5. Dh went mad with her and really told her off, but as i explained to him this is out of character for her and something must be going on, I will try again to talk to her but she just shuts down and shrugs her shoulders. The boys may be challenging but at least I know where I am with them.
Marcus is finding it a struggle at school again he hasn,t told me anything but is eating his jumpers again and this is always a sign the only thing he has said is that he is having trouble concentrating. He was ill over the weekend and missed Monday at school he was fine all day monday so arranged his transport to pick him up Tuesday, he ate his breakfast fine and then 15 minutes before Ron the taxi man came he felt sick again and couldn,t possibly go to school. He did go and did the whole day but then spent the evening vocalising silly words and biting himself so he is obviously worried about something, time will tell.
I am currently reading free range education by Terri Dowty and the book makes so much sense to me, if i had read this last year when we had the problems with school i would have deregisterd Marcus there and then but at the time i didn,t have the confidence and the ASd team were saying it was a bad idea, DH is also against it but have the info stored for future reference if needed. Right must get to the allotment or i will never get a nap before work tonight. Dh is going down south with his car this afternoon so I just have me and the kids to sort tonight. Lydia is at Rainbows also so will need to juggle everyone and everything to make sure i am ready for work. Only working tonight and then off tilnext Wednesday.

This past few days have been a bit challenging to say the least. Lydia woke up on Tuesday morning complaining of tummy ache and a sore throat and then vomited at the kitchen table so no school for her. Then on Wednesday night Piers went to bed Ok and woke an hour later screaming in pain and clutching his ear. It took calpol and ibuprofen to semi settle him and i was up and down every twenty minutes as he was vomiting, he has an ear infection and is on antibiotics. they are both thankfully on the mend now. I have been on nights for the past 2 nights and have not had a lot of sleep although more than i would have had as Dh took a carers day and looked after them yesterday so I could sleep for a few hours. I am not going to bed at all today as DH is at work and the kids are home it being saturday so not looking forward to trying to not be grumpy as i am so knackered. It has been busy at work delivered 3 babies 2 boys and 1 girl all normal deliveries with no intervention from doctors. I would love to work in a midwife led unit.
Marcus has gone to his nannas he has been a bit manic for the past few days sure something will come to light that has upset him or he is stressed about. I think tomorrow we will go for a long family walk and get some fresh air. I will probably bake something with Piers and Lydia today as it will keep me awake and keep them occupied. I am also hoping they will let me have a little snoose whilst they play, fat chance but you can dream. I was going to go shopping today to get some wool ran out for Piers scarf but DH has taken my car and I can,t be bothered on the bus today especially as the kids are not 100%. Might go to the park for a bit of a play if the rain holds off. Ned to ring my sister and friend nina also as i havn,t spoken to them for a while and must make a lunch date with my friend, Piers and Lydia want to go play with her children Joel and Niamh anyway. Poor Joel he is 10 and is idolised by Piers he is a good kid but it is so not cool to be adored by a 5 year old, and Piers follows him everywhere chattering incessantly. Lydia and Niamh are the same age and get on nicely together so everyone has a good time although I do like days with just my friend so we can a good old natter about old times. We did our nurse training together and had lots of holidays together the stories would make our DHs hair curl but don,t tell them.
Anyway must go and see what the monkeys are up to and plan my day so i don,t fall asleep.

Half term fun

Hi all I havn,t had much time just lately to update my blog as it has been half term. We have had loads of fun doing lots of arts and crafts. Lydia and Piers love arts and crafts, the messier the better and we have so many pictures they have created i never know what to go with them all but i can never throw any of them away. We must have folders of them but i love looking at them every now and again, I suppose i am a bit of a hoarder. We have loads of hand prints from when they were small to now and I never tire of looking at them and seeing how they are growing. I have been doing lots of knitting i suppose i find it therapeutic I have made Lydia a bag which I am very proud of and am making the little ones a scarf at the moment. i have also nearly finished a pillow case for Piers of really nice pom pom wool which he can,t wait to have.

We also went to the Deep in Hull all the kids really enjoyed it and we all learnt quite a bit about fish and environmental issues too the boys asked about overfishing and were concerned as to why they were putting dead fish back into the sea, they couldn,t see the logic I explained to them that there was no logic. Now if a 5 and 14 year old with autism can see this why cant the people that make the regulations, maybe i should send Piers and Marcus to have a word. Lydia was very excited to see the divers in the taks and we spent a long time looking at them, the sword fish and rays were also a favourite. We also went for a long walk around a lake near us, it was so peaceful but absoloutely freezing but enjoyed by all. Piers and Lydia had a good swimming lesson they were the only ones that turned up in there group so they had 1 to 1 attention.
Piers has been seen by the optician and precribed some trendy red tinted lenses to help with sensory integration disorder. He is really struggling at school when he needs to look at the white board and concentrate in the flourescent lights and pulls at his eyelids this will hopefully stop that, improve his learning and concentration skills. with a bit of luck they will improve his behaviour too.
We spent a fair bit of time at the allotment too digging and getting it ready for spring hopefully we will have time to keep on top of it this year. Piers and Lydia had fun making mud pies and finding worms. They soon begin to complain they are cold though so we need to make trips quite short at the moment it will be better when the weather improves. Lydia is constantly outside at the moment playing with next doors little girl although they do fall out a fair bit but I am assured this is normal girl behaviour.
They all went back to school yesterday the boys are not too impressed as they really struggle and it takes them a while to settle down after the holidays. I have also gone back to work I was a bit nervous as I have been off for a few weeks with Bells Palsy but it was like i had never been away. Became a bit annoyed with doctors interfering when there was no need to and labour was progressing normally but this is the downside to being an NHS midwife. Although we can challenge quite a lot it depends on the midwife in charge how much you can get away with and how autonomus you can be. I would love to work in a midwife led unit but there arn,t any in this area and I am limited due to being around for the kids. In an ideal world i would leave work and be with the kids full time,have a small holding and home educate but unless we win the lottery that will never happen.
Lydia has been ill today with vomiting and sore throat i think she has tonsilitis. she has been asleep all afternoon and is now wide awake and showing no signs of sleep at all. I am shattered as i was up in the night with her too but it is only for a short time. Sorry for the amount of photos but the are all so good I couldn,t leave any of them out. Will make a seperate allotment post i think. Will post again soon.

Hello again. A few busy days since my last blog. I have been busy preparing for what needs doing at the allotment, well mainly reading, reading and more reading but think i have it sorted in my head now. Went to the garden centre the other day and bought some seeds, carrots, cauliflower, lettuce, pak choi, and other things i can,t remember right now, need to sort them out now see what i still have from last year and what is still usable. i have decided on raised beds i think all in all they will be easier to manage and easier to keep the kids off as they can then see where they are not supposed to walk. Will hopefully get there tomorrow weather permitting.
Piers had his hospital appointment the other day, they felt they couldn,t diagnose ADHD yet as he is too young but if he was 6 or 7 they would be putting him on medication. they want to see us again in 1 year and do the whole assessment again. Very frustrating as he needs the support now really and people on board who know how to manage him. I am unsure regarding medication but will keep an open mind. I am worried something really bad will happen before he gets a diagnosis as he has no awareness of danger, the other day whilst walking to school he ran off ahead we were running late and the lollipop lady had gone so he just crossed the busy main road on his own, thankfully someone intercepted him at the other side but he didn,t understand what he had done wrong. Will need to write a social story i think explaining what could happen.
That night we were at a birthday party Piers and Lydia loved it but it was all abit much for Marcus who became very anxious and started to get stressed, when he gets stressed he becomes loud and aggressive and the other parents were all looking thankfully they all know he has autism but I got a few strange looks. After the party it was parents evening both teachers pleased with Piers and Lydia, Lydia is a quiet but academically doing well and has friends so that was a relief, Piers is making good steady progress now he has his statement of special educational needs. I gave them each a small reward for doing well. Piers has a girlfriend who he will be marrying they start young these days, god help us when he is a teenager.
I have just come back from the hairdressers my purple hair extensions have gone and i am now very blond will try to post some photos later. I like it but i know I will get bored all one colour and in 6 weeks will probably have some more extensions in. DH says i am too old but i don,t care.
Must go house looks like a bombs hit it we have no food in and Lydia has got Milly round for tea tonight need to come up with a plan quick.

Hi just thought i would update while i have the time (HE He) promised myself i would tidy the house this morning and have done nothing so far. Story of my life. Trying to decide whether to go back to work or not, been of sick for a week with Bells Palsy and still feel pretty tired but part of me thinks it would be better to return to normality whatever that is. I only have 3 shifts to do and then I am on holiday anyway, fortunate to have a term time contract so of for a week for half term. Will probably go as feel pretty bad about being off.
Had a long chat with Marcus last night about everything that happened last week and I have decided a system of rewards and sanctions will help. He has agreed, i have explained to him the detrimental effect he is having on the family and he said he understood the only problem is with kids with ASD do they actuallly understand or are they just saying it to shut you up. Will need to constantly remind him i think. Piers has had a good weekend he has helped me make pepper soup a big family favourite he helped peel the roasted peppers and also helped chop them with close supervision as Piers and knives are not a good combination but he did well and didn,t stab anyone LOL. Lydia stirred the soup as it was cooking and we all ate it, well Lydia actually ate very little as she was having a strop over not being able to find her apron but thats life. Yesterday they both helped make Pizza this is always a favourite activity as they love kneeding bread as do I and it always tastes so good. Lydia had a party yesterday she went but spent her time sitting in a corner sucking her thumb she is so shy it is unbelievable, we are both very worried about her. School have expressed concern about her shyness and she is also quite tearful at school. Will keep a close eye on her and attempt to get some girly time at the weekend i think. Tomorrow Piers has an appointment at the hospital we should find out if he has ADHD as well as Aspergers hoping to get some answers and some help for my little man.
Dh is also a bit down at the moment he feels like life is all work and no play at the moment. He hates his job and feels very badly done to that we have 2 boys with ASD, I don,t know how to make him focus on the positives instead of the negatives don,t think he even wants to. We all need a holiday can,t wait to be in our caravan again we need to be in Beddgelert North Wales a place we all love and would ideally like to live there. Anyway really must do some cleaning and feed the animals before picking up children from school. Will check in later.